Khamis, 3 September 2009

Selasa, 1 September 2009

My new life

salam..! it's been a long time since i wrote in my blog. a very long time: i would say coz the moment i started blogging i was in Malaysia but now i'm in Brunei.
sometimes, we can't even expected we would have to go through such this life :)
but i believe , with Allah Almighty, things always happened for reasons! it's just a matter of time for us to realize it. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for all the good and bad things You gave to me. it makes me of course stronger but yet the sadness is there.
From the death of my beloved Abah to an offer from Brunei company to my husband, i can say both affected my life, thus i conclude : my new life.
losing a father will always remain as the most bittest memory and time not only to me, but of course to my entire family and definitely to my mom. Mak, i always pray for your strength! since then, i have the unsafe feelings : who's going to be next? i'm so afraid!every morning when i got up, the frst thing hit my mind is, "what if this is the last day for me?"

but on the other hand,when my husband was offered the job, it was hard for us to decide. it's not an easy decision to be left all alone , handling 2 kids which I can classify as part of challenges ..after giving so many thoughts, prays, i of course with half-heartedly let him go for a better future and for a chance to him to gain the experiences. well, do you think it's easy? of course not. it was so hurt when your kids cried for their father , i couldn't 'bear to hear the statement : I want Abah..i couldn't stand to see my daughters looking at other friend's father! it was terrible !

and so, i think, i can't be selfish to myself. i need to sacrifice. the desicion has been made after a long thoughts. of course i love my job, but my family is much more important. i've made up my mind, i'm gonna resign after raya : soon after my bro in law's wedding. but, Allah's plan is the best and unbeatable! the morning i decided to resign after lots of tears..i received a phone call from my husb ! Ya Allah..You Knows and Plans the best for me!